It has to end with meetings in which smartphones and laptops demand more attention than the meeting itself. That's what author and NLP trainer Robin Stevens thinks. In this episode of the Work Professor: how to build deep relationships that help you get better results at work.
According to Stevens, it's too simple for words: if people put their laptops and phones in the hallway for a while and take the time to sit down in a meeting with proper attention, they will accomplish much more. Yet most people do exactly the opposite. Why can't we break through that?
Take a moment
The first question always remains: do you really think what you are about to do is important? If the answer is 'yes', then it is important to prepare well. Not only by reading the documents before a meeting, for example, but also by preparing yourself mentally. Think about what you are going to do and what you want to achieve in advance and make sure your head is as empty as possible of other distractions.
Body language is just a symptom
Do you have an important conversation? Then remember that how you sound or come across is just an expression of an underlying feeling. Ask yourself which emotion will best achieve your goal. Does that sound complicated? Stevens points to a great exercise: give your body space to feel your real emotion and wait for it to subside. Then look for a situation or person that reminds you of the desired emotion. Then imagine how you would have the desired conversation with that person and apply it to the real situation.
What do you mean by that word?
Language is an essential part of communication. Of many words, we know what another person means by them. Yet in the workplace we also use words that are different for everyone. Take the word "attention. Attention is different for everyone. Stevens' appeal: "Talk about it, ask the other person what he or she means by it and make sure you understand each other. Pay attention to each other and look at each other more often. That's how you make a connection.
Links
Read more about Robin Stevens here
Robin Stevens' new book: connecting without wifi
Youtube channel of Robin Stevens with useful videos about connection
YouTube link to the feedback conversation (excerpt in audio)
Contact
Do you have questions or input? Please contact Wendy van Ierschot at wendy@viepeople.com.
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